SakiVision - About Saki

Personal

Let's see, I'm in my early 30's, college educated, and married (to -lunacy-, another AdultDVDTalk moderator, who I met in the chat room). I live in Southern California, and have no kids. I have been a member and reviewer on AdultDVDTalk since November 1999, and a moderator for almost that long. I'm a member of XRCO and have been a judge for the VSDA adult DVD awards, if those things impress you. ;-)

I'm a movie watcher (all genres) and a mainstream DVD collector. I'm a gadget and technology buff, but also enjoy a simpler lifestyle: being outdoors, hiking, camping, etc.

I have very eclectic porn tastes, ranging from all-sex gonzos to artsy Andrew Blake movies. The genre doesn't really matter to me as long as it's erotic--that can either be subtle and sensual or nasty and in-your-face, depending on my mood.

My Reviewing Philosophy

Pure and simple: I believe that porn is like art appreciation. Some people don't like art at all. Others like art but only enjoy contemporary art, some like abstract, others favor Impressionist, and so forth. So it's pointless to say "if you like art, and I like art, we'll both like the same type of art."

Porn is the same way. If you like gaping gangbangs, chances are that you're going to hate plot-driven couple's porn (and vice versa). Or if you are a huge fan of a particular star, then you might give high marks to a DVD that someone else thinks is just okay.

I'm sure you've been burned before by someone's glowing review. I think the #1 cause of that is not knowing what kind of porn the reviewer is in to. The second reason is usually not enough supporting information in a review. If you knew that information, you could have a good idea whether you'd probably agree with the review based on how much you agree or disagree with his or her preferences.

Example: "I thought the girls were ugly and were a total turn-off!"

Versus: "I thought the girls were ugly because they had too many piercings and tattoos. I just couldn't get into the scene because I couldn't help but wince at Buffy's pierced nipples and the huge tribal tattoo across Willow's pubes. They were a total turn-off!"

From the second example, you would know that the reviewer doesn't like excessive piercings or tattoos. Hey, maybe you like that stuff -- you'll probably dig the video even though that reviewer didn't.

So the bottom line is that my reviews will include enough information from me that you should be able to make your own decision, not just go with my recommendations on blind faith.

Then what exactly are my preferences?

Pet Peeves

Here's a list of things I don't like to see in porn (inspired by AVN's no-no's)

Anal gapes and ass-to-mouth - I love anal sex, but can't see what the fascination is with seeing inside someone's rectum or testing someone's immune system.
Excessive tattoos and piercings - I'm not talking about the occasional tribal tattoo or tongue piercing, but rather the stuff that would probably be featured in "Skin" magazine. I especially dislike tattoos on breasts/pubes or tattoos of lovers' names.
Needing to jack off in order to cum - It's understandable that sometimes an actor has to bring himself to orgasm to end a scene, but I definitely don't want to see that, especially a guy pulling out, aiming at a girl's face...and then beating off for minutes while the girl is begging him to cum. Nothing that a couple of edits wouldn't take care of, but apparently a good editor is hard to find by the number of scenes with the labored cumshots. This is one reason why I love classic porn from the 70's--just about every pop is the pull out and shoot variety.
Obviously fake breasts - While I prefer natural tits, I don't mind fake ones as long as they are done well. And that seems asking a lot considering the number of really bad boob jobs that appear on screen. Visible scars, unnatural shapes, gravity-defying suspension, and inhuman size are all complete turn-offs. What looks good in a bikini or under clothes ends up looking really, really bad when naked. There's nothing grosser than seeing fake tits stretch a girl's skin when she's bending over.
Shots of guys' faces in orgasmic ecstasy - I don't watch porn to see ample footage of a guy's face when the climax of the scene comes up. He's ejaculating--that should be proof enough that he's having a good time.
Too much makeup - A little makeup can be a good thing, but you often see way too much of a good thing, especially in the mascara or eyeshadow department.
Violence or degradation - Simulated rape, gagging blowjobs, spitting in faces, vomiting, slapping, choking, verbal abuse, obvious pain, and the like have no business being in porn. Period. Even if it's consensual, this stuff makes porn a really easy and inviting target for conservatives to attack.
Women screaming and moaning the moment of insertion - It doesn't happen that fast, and anyone who says that it does obviously hasn't watched any behind-the-scenes footage where starlets turn it on and off at will.
Drool and spit - Lubrication is great, but for gods' sake, you don't need act like a rabid dog. Some girls are well-known for their "sloppy" blowjobs, but once it's dripping all over the place, it's too much. Likewise with spit during cunnilingus -- it's not going to win you any points with the ladies to spit into their vaginas!
Penises that look like wooden dowels - I'm thinking of guys like Wesley Pipes or Lex Steele who have unusually long schlongs. Maybe it's appealing to some to see women who can't possibly take that much length or who have to handle them like a snake or garden hose, but I'd much rather see someone with both length and girth than just length.
Dry sex - I cringe when I see performers go at it without any lubrication (natural or otherwise). It doesn't look comfortable and help me to suspend my disbelief and believe that they are having sex because they want to.
Looped moaning - I prefer production sound during sex. Music is okay as long as it is subdued and doesn't overpower the sounds of sex. But for the love of God, studios need to stop using non-stop canned moaning ("artsy" films are especially guilty of this).
Circus acts - DAPs, triple penetrations, bukkake, anything that starts out with "world's biggest," gigantic toys, speculums, golden showers and the like are big turn-offs. Is there any limit to shock value in sight?
Magically appearing condoms - I don't mind condoms if they are not glaringly obvious. They should be shown being put on, not just "suddenly worn." And for the love of god, get rid of the white or black rubbers!

Here's my list of adult DVD pet peeves:

Fuzzy or dark photo galleries - I don't like photo galleries in the first place (why do you need them when you can pause the video with crystal clarity?) but I hate it when the photos look like they're prints from a cheap video review mag.
Mandatory ads or promo material on first play - I hate having to sit through the B.S. promotional reels that seem to be more and more common when you first play the DVD, especially if there's no way to skip them. I also really hate the FBI, Custodian of Records, and other mandatory notices. There's nothing worse than having to wait a minute or more from putting in the disc to when the smut actually appears.
Misspellings - It's really, really irritating to see a common word misspelled on a DVD menu. Producers, try running your DVD copy through a spell checker to avoid looking like an idiot.
Phone sex and website ads billed as "extras" - Advertisements are NOT, nor will they ever be, bonuses that we should look forward to.
The same extras package on every release - A lot of discs from a given studio have the exact same extras package (clips, photos, trailers, etc.) . Once you've seen one, you've seen them all. Having the same "bonus" content on several discs is like not having any extras at all.
Long animated menu transitions - It sucks to try to navigate a DVD menu where the producer has tried to be fancy and has included a lengthy menu transition. Porn is about quickly getting to what you want to see, not seeing a niffty video clip between every menu.
Missing time coding - The ability to fast forward, reverse, and skip to any point within a scene is a must-have for porn.
Bad chapter breaks, not enough, or too many - Is it too much to ask for logical chapter stops and a reasonable amount of them throughout the disc? I don't want to skip to the middle of a dialogue scene or have to deal with either just one chapter break or 20 of them.

What I Like

This is what I like to see in porn:

A good plot and acting or none at all - There are few things worse than a bullshit plot or even a good script that's destroyed by porn stars who can't act to save their lives. I'd rather see people get naked and down to business than suffer through 10 minutes of them reading and flubbing their lines. A lot of gonzo and all-sex vids are guilty of this as they insult our intelligence with Penthouse Letters-like stories.
Strong production values - You don't need six-figure budgets to produce porn with solid lighting and sound, camera positioning, editing, and all basic filmmaking fundamentals.
Creative action - Practically all porn uses the same formula: Oral, oral, two positions, and popshot. If someone can capture some creative positions (flying reverse cowgirl, anyone? scissors? standing 69?), then it really catches my attention.
Young, natural breasted, non-anorexic women - There are plenty of young women in porn, but to find ones that are not skin and bones or who have not gone under the knife is pretty hard.
Dirty Talk - I like the aural tease of hearing partners talk dirty to each other, but only when it's well-done (no scripted lines) and when it doesn't involve humiliation or verbal abuse.
Fun, lighthearted sex - It doesn't have to be "making love" or "balls to the wall fucking" -- it can be fun, as Jonathan Morgan's sex comedies or party gonzo series such Shane's World have proven.
Outdoor and on-location sex - It's nice to see action outside of the soundstage or bedroom, especially in exotic or daring locations.
Good orgasms (both male and female) - I like to see strong orgasms with good loads for the guys (doesn't have to be facials), appearance of real orgasms for the ladies.
Big units - I'm not saying that huge cocks are required for good sex or good porn, they tend to provide great penetration visuals.
Girls wearing glasses - I just love seeing girls wearing glasses, especially combined with facials. Maybe it's my deep seeded desire to have an affair with a librarian?
Lingerie - I love stockings, garter belts, body suits, see-through bras and panties, pantyhose, open-breasted or -crotch outfits, uniforms, and the like. It always gets my attention when those items remain worn during sex, not just stripped off after the foreplay.

On the DVD side:

Solid extras packages - I love stuff like commentaries, documentaries, deleted scenes, extended scenes, lots of trailers, or Easter eggs on DVDs. Of course, not at the expense of good audio and video quality, but any DVD over $10 should include some value added content.
Letterboxed or Anamorphic widescreen if possible - While full-frame video is great for gonzos and virtual sex titles, I prefer widescreen for features since it adds a film-like feel without much additional expense. With widescreen or 4:3 televisions with 16:9 modes and with DVD-ROM equipped computers, the widescreen audience increases every day.
Plenty of chapter breaks - While I think 50+ chapters on a DVD is overkill, having only 2 (as one producer of gangbang videos is notorious for) is almost criminal. Ideally, I'd like to see one at the start of a scene, another when the sex starts, and one just before the climax.

Favorite People

Here are some of my favorite studios, directors, and stars from the past and present (in no particular order):

Favorite Studios (DVD)	Private, Wicked, VCA, Studio A, Hustler, Evil Angel, Red Light District
Favorite Video Series	Ass Worship, Barely Legal, Deep Throat This, Flesh Hunter
Favorite Directors, Features	Antonio Adamo, Andrew Blake, Michael Ninn, Philip Mond, Nic Andrews, Antonio Passolini, Veronica Hart, Paul Thomas, Kris Kramski, Cameron Grant, Gazzman
Favorite Directors, All Sex/Gonzo	Shane, Ben Dover (Steve Perry), Bill Whitrock, Professor Mike, Clive McClean, John Stagliano, Jules Jordan, Joey Silvera, Michael Stefano
Favorite Female Performers (Classic)	Marilyn Chambers, Seka, Annette Haven, Lisa DeLeeuw, Brooke West, Dorothy LeMay, Rachel Ashley, Christy Canyon, Ginger Lynn, Shanna McColough, Dhaije Taan
Favorite Female Performers (Retired)	Flame, K.C. Williams, Tracey Winn, Nikki Dial, Roxanne Blaze. Roxanne Hall, Zara Whites, Shane, Danielle Rogers (pre-comeback), Kelly O'Dell, Tricia Devereaux, Madison, Tammi Ann, Brittany O'Connell, Melanie Moore, Francesca Le (pre-comeback), Cameo (pre-boob job), Hyapatia Lee, Savannah, Ashlyn Gere, Diedre Holland, Vanessa Chase, Alyssa Love, Draghixa, Jennifer Stewart, Katja Kean, Ginger Lynn, Tina Tyler, Nikki Anderson, Asia Carrera
Favorite Female Performers (Current)	Inari Vachs, Chloe, Kylie Ireland, Bunny Luv, Vanity, Dee, Juli Ashton, Stephanie Swift, Shay Sweet (pre-boob job), Shelbee Myne (pre-boob job), Jenna Haze, Kobe Tai, Brooke April, Kacey, Aurora Snow, Taylor Rain, Ashley Blue, Gauge, Hannah Harper, Wendy James, Cris Taliana, Justine, Sabrine Maui
Favorite Male Performers (Classic)	John C. Holmes, Peter North, Buck Adams, Jamie Gillis, Joey Silvera, Paul Thomas, John Leslie, David Morris, Richard Pacheco, Mike Ranger
Favorite Male Perfomers (Current)	Julian, Rocco Siffredi, Randy Spears, Jonathan Morgan, Jon Dough, James Bonn, Mr. Marcus, Erik Everhard, Tex, Manuel Ferrara, Michael Stefano

What you won't find in my reviews

Short capsule reviews - I could never work for AVN or any other adult magazine that wants a paragraph long review. Not only am I long-winded, but there's no way you can possibly say anything helpful in 50 words.

Blow by blow descriptions of sex acts - I know that many people want to know "who does who and how," especially if it involves anal or facials. I'm sure you can imagine that "He fucks her doggy style" leaves a lot to the imagination, and doesn't give you any idea of whether the scene is hot, whether there's any chemistry between the performers, etc. It's about as exciting and informative as reading sports box scores. I think reviews should be reviews, not transcripts. Not that I oppose those sorts of reviews, just that I try hard not to do that.

Pricing, special sale, or retailer information - Seeing that the shelf life of reviews is infinite (if you search for an older movie, you might get a review that was written five or more years ago). Any reference to street prices, sales, or promotions won't be valid more than a month or so. Besides, that's what a price search engine like Adult DVD Price Search is for.

Messages to studios - While I'm a firm believer that some studios read and actually take reviewer's suggestions to heart, I don't feel it's my role to give them advice like I was a consultant telling them how to run their business. So while I'll occasionally do the "open letter" pleas (like, "Please label your bonus clips with the movies they came from!"), I won't dedicate a portion of my reviews to coaching. After all, while I have my preferences and beliefs, I don't presume to know what "good" porn is. All I know is what I like, and that may be 180 degrees from everyone else.